Premium Shadow With a Side of Chips
by Sniper Typhoon Hedgehog
Summary: Basically, a random crackfic about Shadow having a hormonal high.


**Yet another idea has sprung into my head.**

* * *

It was just a peaceful day in the neighborhood where Sonic and friends lived. Nothing out of the ordinary until someone, who usually keeps quiet and mysterious, kicked his front door open. The figure stepped out of the darkness of his house and took a deep breath of the morning air. The figure was none other than Shadow the Hedgehog.

"I feel GREAT!" He shouted out loud. "I feel like CONQUERING THE WORLD!" Shadow stepped off of his porch and walked to the sidewalk. "Prepare yourself, world. You are about to experience maximum OWNAGE!"

Shadow took off down the street with the help of his rocket shoes, leaving the asphalt a much higher temperature after he blazed over it. Shadow was heading for Station Square. "Let's see." Shadow planned. "First I'll conquer Station Square, then I'll chillax with my bromies, and then I'll sweep that smokin' hot hedgehog chick that works down at Barnes & Noble right off her feet."

Shadow stormed into downtown Station Square. "You people will soon bow down to ME! HA HA!" He shouted at a few random people. Continuing up the main street, Shadow launched two Chaos Spears out from his hands. One destroyed a street sign, and the other destroyed a fire hydrant, thus shooting water into the air.

Seeing this, one person dialed 911.

"911, what is your emergency?" The 911 person asked.

"We've got a maniac downtown. He's a black Mobian hedgehog with a little bit of red. Careful, he's dangerous."

There was a skyscraper ahead of Shadow. It had a grind rail spiraling upwards around it. Shadow jump dashed along the rail, and he grinded all the way to the top.

"This is all mine!" Shadow said while looking over Station Square. But he was quickly interrupted by three police helicopters that bobbed up behind him.

The wind that the spinning rotors of the choppers blew down almost knocked Shadow off the building.

Three armed police officers from every helicopter, 9 in total, rappelled down onto the building and aimed their rifles at the black hedgehog they had heard about. There were also three more armed officers still in each hovering chopper. There were now 18 rifles aimed at Shadow.

"Put your hands where I can see them!" One of them ordered.

"Not a chance!" Shadow spat. "I've already taken over Station Square!"

"Just because you're on top of the tallest building in the city doesn't mean you rule the city."

"Maybe not to you."

The lead officer took out his radio. "He's not reasoning. Clear to distract."

"Roger." The person on the radio replied.

Just then, a jet flew over them.

"Whoa!" Shadow exclaimed. "Shiny, distracting F-14 Tomcat! AWESOME!"

"Switch to full auto tranquilizers." The lead officer ordered, and they all swapped out their rifles.

"Full auto tranquilizers?" Shadow echoed. "Where can I get-"

Shadow was then clobbered with about a hundred tranquilizer darts, making him instantly fall asleep. His sleeping body fell back on the grind rail, and he slid on his back all the way down to the bottom of the building.

_**Later that afternoon….**_

"Looks like he's waking up." A familiar voice said.

Shadow slowly opened his eyes to see Sonic, Tails, Silver, and Blaze by his bed. Hospital bed to be exact.

"Argh!" Shadow grunted. "Why don't you people get your own lives!"

"You had a hormonal high, Shadow." Tails explained.

"But I'm not a teenager, I'm over fifty years old, genius!"

"Yes, but you're physically a teenager. That includes your chromosomes."

"WHATEVER! No one likes me, GAWD!" Shadow picked up his pillow and hid his face under it.

"Shadow?" Silver asked as he tried to take the pillow off of him using his psychic powers.

Shadow snapped and all of a sudden, Silver got a nasty pinch on his thumb. "Ow!"

"Shadow, why are you acting like that?" Sonic asked.

"Why should I tell you?" Shadow rudely answered. "You don't really care about me. JEEZ!"

"He's having a hormonal low now." Blaze said. "Opposite of hormonal high, he feels bad and thinks everyone hates him."

"That's 'cause it's true!"

"You need some rest, Shadow."

"SO DO YOU!" Shadow uncovered his face, pulled a full auto tranquilizer out of nowhere, and fired at all his 'friends'. Thus, putting them to sleep.

"You all now have the privilege to feel my pain too." Shadow told them. "He he heh HA HA AHHHH HAHAHAHAHA!"


End file.
